Today September 3rd marks the one year anniversary of my Beloved Mother Nancy’s transition back into her light body. At times it is hard to realize and accept that I will never again see her in the physical body that I had grown attached to since I was a child. I can feel her presence in an energetic way, but it is not the same of being able to look into her eyes, give her a hug or a kiss on the forehead.
A friend of mine saw her psychically standing (or floating) behind me often, praying with a rosary to help me on my journey, which I am so grateful to her for the eternal love and devotion she is sending to me.
Since she has passed, I have come to realize that my purpose for so many years had come to a close of looking after her, which brought a sense of emptiness and confusion. During my life of taking care of her on and off since childhood, I saw it as a suffocation of not having the freedom to be truly on my own. But with her gone, I realized I had enjoyed helping her reclaim the innocence of child that she lost when her father passed away.
Even though you were not able to truly be there for me when I was a child most of the time, I would never want anyone else to have been my mother except you. My soul chose you as my mother for many reasons that I was never aware of during my childhood and most of my adult life. I do know that it was all perfectly orchestrated and the most important lessons I learned from you are unconditional love, patience, compassion and acceptance.
I remember fondly when I was around 4 our time together walking into church – there was no one else around and the sunlight was shining brightly through the stained glass windows. You showed me how to baptize myself with holy water. Not knowing back then how spiritual my soul is, this moment with you is a sacred treasure that I hold dearly within my heart.
Thank you for believing in me even when I had many moments that I did not think I could ever succeed in a complete surrender to God. You made me so very proud of what you accomplished spiritually in your last year in physical form. When you died the time before your final passing and said I was meant to help you on your final voyage, that became true and I was so honored to have been able to do this for and with you. You also said that you would be helping me after you pass with my surrender, which I am very grateful to have you by my side over these next few years.
Mom, I love you eternally and I miss being with you!
There is a poem of Ram Dass’s teacher that rings true to me for myself, but more so for who my mother is now in spirit.
I am like the wind
No one can hold me
I belong to every one
No one can own me
The whole world is my home
All are my family
I live in every heart
I will never leave